MISS ERIN PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR

Miss Erin P.I.

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Staring Erin, Who was always carrin, aways darin, a smile she was wearin’, kept dying her hair and then.
 

Dressed in all black, at a welcome mat, she killed everyone, with her eloquent attack, bad words she lacked, she had the customers backs, who were returning a tv on a pallet jack.

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Dressed in all black, she killed everyone, with her eloquent attack, bad words she lacked, she had the gambler’s backs, who were betting double digit thousand stacks.

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She guarded the doors of the giant blue store, until her shifts ended when the clock struck four, her personhood I did adore, she kept me running back for more, And somehow her number i did score.

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She guarded the doors of the place where fortunes were scored, until her shifts ended at four, her personhood I did adore, she kept me running back for more, and somehow her number I did score.

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The Red guard at the gates, who I still appreciate, was at the Rivers Casino occupied by the poker playing mates, she showed the laypeople, no hate, her kindness came early, it never came late, no one had to wait,  Her personality/pro conduct was great, But she had to abdicate, now it’s the missing she investigates, she really did graduate.

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Some say she’s eccentric, everyone’s a skeptic, but look at her work ethic, it’s epic, it’s tried and tested, it’s the feed the baby method.

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Now; She’s Ready to draw her glock with speed and quickness, If the taped be on some flip shit, Miss Vicious, Kills the fraudsters shitless, she tapes the witless, on her hitlist, Goes back to the P.I. Business, turns the tape in, she’s a deadly fraud charge witness.

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Things are getting crazier, with all this misbehavior, The Major, The crazy Ponzi scheme player, is in bed with our mayor, They’re saying fuck us taxpayers, But here comes Miss Vicious, she’s the savior, Maybe the dead presidents, the B Franklin papers,  don’t have to turn into only just vapers.

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Then there’s Mr. Dockett, The bum who says fock it, about his back, his mobility he was supposed to have lost it, 100k padded his pockets, But look at his legs now, he can still walk it, He’s running out of Jared’s buying gold lockets, In his front yard he’s chopping down trees like Davey Crockett, but here comes Miss Vicious, Bang! Bang! she got this!

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Motherfuckers are so poor, cash non existent like folklore, can't afford the dollar store,  they should wear leggings, because what the fuck do they need pockets for.

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Then There was the crazy chick with the last name of Potter, Last week We all learned that Miss Vicious caught her, U know that loonie, who slaughtered her daughter, and the baby's father.

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Her house was surrounded by helicopters, she ran out the house,  towards the Allegheny’s waters, she was a good fucking trotter, wishing no one would spot her, The scene became hotter, she spotted the bridge. off the bridge she jumped it, No one stopped her, gravity dropped her, her body laid in the river blue, like an otter. She Survived, and to the system, Miss Vicious, brought her.

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They’re doing stupid shit, around the clock, they're dumber than a rock, then, men and women, still want the pussy and the cock; go to Miss Vicious, and have a talk.

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no cash ain't they stressed, no cash, they’re unblessed, they’re running after garbage trucks like hey that's my breakfast!

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It's a puzzle, stupid-subtle; Money they guzzle, They make Miss V. chuckle, Miss V. says what are they celebrating their struggles?

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Miss Vicious stands Tall, , All, and all, like the slick will of Virginia Hall.

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She's one fly P.I. , the fliest spy around, she never lets her clients down. She moves in stealth mode throughout the local towns, without a sound.

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Crime make's her frown. She's a beast! She's a hound! She get's all the charlatan/murderous clowns.

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The lost are now found! They’re home safe and sound! She will catch the missing before they're six feet "dead/already bled" underground.

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Miss Vicious kills the fraudsters shitless, she tapes the witless on her hitlist, She goes back to the P.I. business, turns the tape in, and says “MY DEAR KIDS YOU ARE GETTING A CHRISTMAS!”

The Comedy MC 

Fin

___ so spoke Sir David Raskin.